I want him to want me like he did before…like I now want him. It hurts like a bitch.Īnd now all I want is for him to see me the way he used to.
I know that was what I wanted when I was telling myself that I needed him to stop wanting me, so I could stop wanting him. He’s affable, and we have our usual banter, but that feeling I always got from him, the one that told me he saw me through different eyes, is now gone. He keeps himself at a friendly distance from me.Īside from that little moment in the car the other day, he has shown no indication of feeling the way he used to about me. I can tell…feel it in the way he is toward me. I just wish I knew a way I could have him.īut all my wanting is fruitless. Two and a half bloody hours to do a job that should have taken me one hour maximum. But this, being around him all the time in close proximity…it’s getting to the point of being unbearable.Īnd instead of being relieved that we’re almost coming to the end of working on my dad’s car-well, Carrick’s car-so that I can put that distance between us, I’m finding that I want to etch it out longer, so I can be around him-hence, the reason it’s taken me two and a half hours to fit the wiper motor.
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